Saturday, July 27, 2013

How could we make sense?

My friend S is having a hard time in her relationship with her partner, what happened was she got dumped by a bastard yet she's trying to pursue him back. I told her that her fight to get him back isn't worth her time and Energy. She reluctant to listen to me as usual, "I don't want the love of my life to go away" she said. 

The one. It is a hard concept. Sex and the city (the series) made it clear what is the notion of "the one". Did Carrie instantly know that Mr.Big was the one for her when she bumped into him on the street of New York? Was it fate that brought them back together despite hard breakups, disappointments? Or was it get struggle or they just instantly knew that they have to be together to complete their life? 

I recently met someone l, from the moment we met, I knew that I could spend the rest of my life with him. Silly I know, but sometimes that gut feelings are stronger than logic. We've been seeing each other for few times now and every time I met him my heart beats faster for him. His smile, his charm creeps into my mind every seconds, every time I breathe I think of him. 

I could see myself be with him for the rest of my life. He is perfect to me. But we just met at the wrong time. When I first had a chat with him at grindr months ago, he was seeing someone so I waited for him til he's ultimately single. When he confirmed to me that he's single I asked him out for coffee. It started from a cup of coffee and an hour of conversation. That smile. That smile. I want him.

He's leaving. He's leaving Sydney for good. He's moving to Bali. Buying a property and settle there. My heart sank. But I couldn't do anything, anything to change his mind. I know that he's keeping distance to me. But at the same time I could see a genuine smile every time I see him. I don't want to misinterpret his charm, but this is what I feel now. A warm feeling that is warming my soul this chilly winter. I just hope he feels the same way about me. 

Could he be the one? Did we meet a wrong time? Or our path just cross and he's just another one in my life that will pass and I will find another one just like him? 

He's old, I'm young. I'm just about to start my career, he has stopped working. He's leaving and I'm staying. 

How could we make sense? 

Surry Hills, 27 July 2013 


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